What I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger
Written on January 2, 2008 by Tezza
While I sometimes might lament and wish for a better life as many of us do, it’s often fleeting and passes by quickly. That’s partly because I’ve finally gotten myself to a good place in life and it’s taken many trials, tribulations, miss steps and near disasters to get there. It’s easy to look back in hindsight and wish that had you been made available with better information, less fear or ignorance, or better guidance so things would have turned out differently. I now know that I am richer for my experiences good or bad and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
That doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t continue to learn and grow both from others and through reflection of my own self. While I continue to pursue growth from learning from those further down the path of life than I am, here is what I wish someone had told me when I was younger.
1. Focus Less On The Destination And Just Enjoy The Journey
When I was younger I got so caught up in the trees that I didn’t even see the forest all around me. It’s funny how when you’re at school every exam is like the end of the earth. It’s like your life is put on pause until the exam period is over. When you become an adult you find other ways to keep yourself stressed and focused with work commitments and your period in school almost feels like a breeze in comparison.
If you’re always focused on the destination, life will pass you by and you’ll never get it back. There is always going to be a new destination once the old one is reached. There is always going to be deadlines, disasters to manage and havoc to get under control. It’s human nature to never be satisfied with being in the one place.
2. Stop Being So Hard On Yourself, Your Doing The Best You Can Right Now
Realize that your’re always doing the best you can with what you know at the time it happened. You can’t change the past and it’s futile to want to shape the future but you have this moment to make a choice. Trust in yourself that you are doing the best job you can, with the resources and wisdom you have at this moment.
3. It’s More Important To Find Your Own Voice Than To Be A Poor Imitator Of Someone Else’s
As a child you are dependent on advice from adults to guide and keep you safe. As we get older we realize that most adults are just trying to find their way through life as we are in ours. Listen to your own small voice within to guide you even in the face of all objections.
Your path to sanity, happiness and fulfillment depends on your courage to find your voice and to act on it at every opportunity. Those who truly have your best interest at heart, who love you unconditionally will eventually get over it. They want what is best for you. Remember you are never going to please everyone. It is a futile endeavour to think otherwise and the only real casualty is yourself.
4. It’s Okay To Break The Rules Every Now And Then
Many rules are in place to maintain law and order. These include laws like respect for other people’s property and life. It’s in the best interest of all concerned that these laws are maintained and adhered to. But there are other rules that are their to shape and conform us like religion and social etiquette. We each have a responsibility to be discerning as to what rules are in our interest and which aren’t. If you are undecided a great rule of thumb is whether it does any harm to others. If it doesn’t do any harm than decide for yourself. You are the keeper of your own destiny. Question everything and don’t accept anything as truth just because everyone else seems to believe or follow it as their truth.
5. Never Settle For Mediocrity Because You Deserve Better Than That
Life is short and you can never know how long you have left. That’s why it is so important to never settle for mediocrity. Don’t settle for a loveless relationship, an unhappy marriage, a job you hate, friends you can’t stand or for less than you could be. You always have this moment to decide. It’s painful to settle for mediocrity for one year. It’s disastrous to settle for one year and one day. Don’t let that be you.
6. Trust your instincts. It’s smarter than you are.
It’s amazing how many times I’ve had a gut feeling and never followed it only to find out later that I should have. We are all aware of intuition but all too often we have been taught to rely on facts and tangible analysis. Paying attention to your intuition is not about trying to talk to ghosts, it’s just becoming more aware of your higher self. Animals rely on intuition for their everyday survival. Tune into the subtle clues that your higher self gives you, maybe it’s a bad feeling or a sense of danger. Don’t necessarily trust blindly in your instincts but test it and challenge it.
7. Don’t Be In Such A Hurry
Don’t try to live life a hundred miles an hour. Don’t wish to grow up too quickly because it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be when you get there. Instead learn to just enjoy where you are at, whether it’s being a kid, a teenager, an adult or a parent. Be there fully in the moment because before you know it time will pass and you’ll be in a different period of your life.
8. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff. It’s All Small Stuff.
Unless you’re a rocket scientist or brain surgeon, most of what you do day to day isn’t going to matter in the long run. The earth is going to keep spinning, life will continue with or without you and the world isn’t going to implode. We are really just a small blip in the scheme of eternity so don’t sweat it so much. Let that other guy cut in front of you if he is in such a hurry, relax and enjoy the company if your meal is taking a long time to get out, smile at the frazzled person who is venting their anger on you. If you aren’t going to remember the incident in 5 years time why would you want to fret about it
9. Forgive Quickly. Anger Slowly.
Anger, past hurt and suffering caused by others are insidious and only feeds upon itself. Anger and hatred not only limits the person you can be but it also causes you to make poor decisions with your life. Forgiving others quickly gives you a sense of peace that no one else can give you.
10. When The Sh*t Hits The Fan, You Know Who Your True Friends Are
I’ve had my fair share of friends who haven’t been healthy to my well-being and I’ve also been blessed with amazing friends. I’ve found that it is so important to associate with good people who have your best interests at heart because nothing is worse than going through life with fake friends. To attract good people in your life it begins with you becoming the kind of friend you want to have.
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I like this article.
11. Learn English grammar.
Amen to the last one!
Great post, but you may want to run it through a spell checker.
The people who left comments about spelling and grammar are silly. It is important to have good communication skills but you must first think of the context.Here is a person who is trying to give a positive message,”don’t sweat the small stuff”,and you guys are sweating the small stuff!
Thanks George for your kind words. While I certainly don’t consider myself an accomplished writer by any stretch of the imagination I’m always open to improving it. But i’m glad you got the gist of the message. It really is “small stuff” so long as the reader gets the basic premise of the post.
@Aaron - I’m happy for you to point out any errors you might find on any post. Constructive critism can only be a healthy thing. =)
@Jenny - Yes the last one is my favourite too =)
@Joe - Thanks for taking the time to comment.
@Duncan - I’m glad you enjoyed reading it.
Thanks for this great post, planning on passing it along to my friends and family as well.
All the best,
Miles
Great article! Especially #7, #8 and #10, these are some great points to think about.
Cheers!
This is just what I needed today, thanks for sharing your thoughts…
Really like the one about Fake Friends, I just discovered I have 2 fake friends, boy was I blind for 10+ years….
Thanks for the kind feedback Miles, I’m glad you enjoyed the post.
@Dumitru - Thanks for stopping by and giving me feedback. Yeah those points are some good ones to try and implement into our lives. It will make life that little more enjoyable =)
@leejack - I’m glad you found the post useful. I know what you mean about fake friends. I think sometimes we act out of need, blinded loyalty or some warped sense of obligation and we therefore hold onto the wrong kind of friends longer than we should have. Sometimes in order for the new to come into your life you have to let go of the old.
this is a wonderful article - says me
a twenty something..
I must link this on my site because this is exactly the kind of advice we all need to hear
Thanks for the great post. I wish I was 17 again!
Great post .I think that sometimes you learn only by your mistakes but writing your thoughts is very helpful for not doing the same mistakes in the future. Thanks
Jemi - Thanks for your kind words and encouragement.
Kim - haha, I’m sure there are many people who wouldn’t mind turning the clock back.
Ntoni - Thanks. I think there are different styles of learning and each person should find the style that works for them. I do seem to learn better when I put my thoughts on paper so to speak. It also helps to free up the clutter in my mind.
Awesome.
very true on everything, i just finished my finals in high school and i spent the whole week fretting and now that the week is over it feels like a wasted week., and i also agree on the gut feeling the most, i try to use my gut feeling when ever i can, and it leads me away from trouble, but also occasionally into it … thats for the great post, it made me smile, and i love smiling.
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Congrats on finishing your finals in high school…it’s funny how much time can slip away on things we have no control over =) Thanks for enjoying the post and I’m glad it put a smile on your face =)
so should those who know this teach it, or let those others learn it on their own?
Steven: I’m a little from both schools of thought. I think it would be silly to reinvent the wheel every time you want to pursue something. Innovation, development and change occurs because we build from each others successes and failures. So i think it is important to learn from those who have walked the path before you. Having said that it would be naive to think that being insulated and protected from making your own mistakes is to your betterment. I think we need to step forward in our own destiny and in our own way with the best information that we posess at the time, accepting our failures as lessons and embracing our successes with those who helped you along the way.
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