Don’t Leave Your Future In Someone Else’s Hands

Written on September 14, 2007 by Tezza

Friday’s weekly guide to Life Balance from 4EvaYoung.com

Let others lead small lives, but not me
Let others argue over small things, but not me.
Let others cry over small hurts, but not me.
Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands but not me. - Jim Rohn

It’s amazing to watch young children and their apparent lack of fear when they are immersed in play. They don’t think about the consequences or the potential future repercussions of their decisions. They are just fully present, and living in the moment. And then life takes hold and we grow up. We start to do what others tell us to do, we start to live for tomorrow instead of today and before you know it we are absorbed in life’s rut.

Such is life that forces us to abandon our dreams for the so called safe option. We throw the dice and hope that it will pay off one day. In the meantime we obligingly put our noses to the grindstone and get busy doing life instead of living life.

You just wonder sometimes when life really begins. As they say if your not living out your life plan then your living out someone else’s. Linkin Park says it best:

“I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you” – Linkin Park (Numb)

So if your feeling lost living out someone else’s dream then here are some ideas to take back control of your future:

1. Don’t Leave Your Decisions To Someone Else

“I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.”-William Henley

It seems preposterous to even consider leaving your life in someone else’s hands and yet we do it over and over again. How many times in your life have you made a decision because everyone else was doing it? How many times have you let someone else decide what was best for you? How often do you just follow the crowd or what the media tells you as truth?

The danger I see in leaving your life in someone else’s hands is that there is no guarantee you are going to like the outcome in the end. You need to realize that you are indeed “master of your fate” and have the conviction to be true to yourself no matter the opposition. Great strength lies not in doing what is difficult but being defiant against all opposition to live out your truth. After all isn’t this what freedom should essentially represent, the freedom to live out your life so long as it does no harm to others. Why would you expect anything less than that with your short stay here on earth.

2. Know where you want to go and why

“Knowing your purpose simplifies your life. It defines what you do and what you don’t do. Your purpose becomes the standard you use to evaluate which activities are essential and which aren’t.” -Rick Warren,

The best defense in not being taking for a ride by other people is to know where you are going and why. Live each day congruent with your dreams and goals so that your life is being steered in the direction which you are glad to go. After all, the only guarantee in life is the here and now. Use it wisely by following your own dreams and aspirations instead of being sold into someone else’s dreams. It’s not to say you should be selfish. It’s okay if you stumble and make mistakes along the way, at least they were your choosing and you are in a position to carry on.

Just like me, just like you we all have dreams, hang ups and issues that need to be dealt with. You aren’t alone in that respect, so wherever possible help someone on their journey but still be true to your journey so that you aren’t abandoning your dreams.

You often hear people who are giving and selfless feel that they have lost themselves in the process, well this needn’t be your situation if you just strike the balance between helping others and helping yourself.

3. Throw away the shackles holding you back

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” - Robert Frost

Don’t let outside forces determine what you can and can’t do. How many times have you been robbed from following your dream because someone close to you said why it couldn’t been done. Often the people who have the greatest potential to steal our dreams are the one’s closest and dearest to us. They are often also well meaning in nature and trying to protect us but in so doing they also misguidedly take away our joys of living out our dreams.

The problem is that their advice is limited by their experience and failures not yours. So holding onto your belief in the face of all objection is what usually separates those who achieve and those who think “if only”.

We can also be our worst enemy. How many times have you said:

If only I was younger
If only I didn’t have a family to support
If only I had more money
If only I didn’t care of what people think
If only I had the talent of some people had
If only I didn’t have to work so hard

No one said that following your dream is going to be easy. But putting up mental obstacles aren’t doing you any favors. Until we begin to also face our own mental recordings holding us back from our dreams we will never be able to move boldly forward.

The great biography’s of people who achieved their dreams and followed their passions were people who had many failings themselves. They weren’t all born rich, or well educated or had family connections. They too had shortcomings and personal demons but they are now recorded in history for their achievements in spite of all their difficulties through life and that has made all the difference for them.

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